This is How I Want to Feel…

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Relaxed     breezy     calm   carefree   casual     composed

E a s y   flexible   laid-back   unconcerned   nonchalant   serene

tranquil   collected     even-tempered   free and easy

loose   happy-go-lucky!    mild   n a t u r a l     unconstrained

light     cool as a cucumber   cool-headed        unruffled

imperturbable   laid back      level-headed     unemotional     still

serene      pleased   satisfied   placid    adequate     content

soothed   happy   CLEARheaded         sure of myself

self-assured   serene     harmonious   in order     reposed

complacent     BOLD      assertive        satisfied     certain

hopeful     positive     secure     undaunted   VALIANT

organic     unapologetic  confident

 

I am shocked at how distant and unfamiliar these words seem to me. I want to feel these words more. A lot more, but I am somehow scared and intimidated by them. If I let them in and stay for too long, its like I am letting my guard down. I wouldn’t be prepared if something were to go wrong. How can I be “ready” for scary eventualities if I am lost in a cloud of fuzzy, feel-good feelings?

What I am trying to understand is that “ready” and “content” can co-exist. And beyond that – I don’t have to be “ready” all the time. I just need to trust that, when something scary arises, I can handle it. I can be comfortable and prepared at the same time.

What are some feelings that you want? Feelings that seem illusive but that you would love to become regular, constants in your life?

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This is How I Feel…

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Nervous     Worried       Concerned      Uneasy        fretful      full of angst fearful        doubtful      dreadful      jitters      miserable      agitated     misgiving       mistrusting

panicked       unbalanced       restless      SUFFERING        troubled      uncertain   butterflies      careful       disquieted      distressed       fidgety       shaky     fussy      bothered         shakes      shivers         watchful        all-overs        ants in pants         goose bumps         nail-biting        pins and needles            eager       intense       impatient       itchy       frantic       ardent         off        avid         expectant         upset       wired    uncomfortable         TENSE        unsettled      neurotic         agitated       taut        carried away       apprehensive         edgy       ill at ease           twitchy         solicitous         overwrought         on tenterhooks               like a fish out of water         antsy          weird       discomposed           uptight         basket case            hyper        in a tizzy   daunted        vigilant          cautious   perplexed             fidgety         perturbed          frozen           stuck        petrified            intimidated           crazed         berserk            shook up       unhinged         hysterical           out of one’s mind          crazy         mental      worked up           tied up in knots           worried sick            desperate

oppressed            frazzled       irked       OBSESSIVE          weighed down           addled        discomposed         muddled             unglued             “bundle of nerves”       skittish              touchy         ALERT!!!       all a dither          unnerved             keyed up            harried            beset           hard-pressed            wonky      stressed       AWKWARD            insecure             self-conscious               unsure      rattled                    disconcerted   ruffled   riled up   frazzled     wonky   beside myself     agitated    turbulent      indefinite      meek

Too many of these words take up too much of my day.

These words represent feelings that wash over me often and stay with me far too long.   Typically, I either try to ignore these feelings or put my head down and barrel through them, but I am learning that this doesn’t work. The more I ignore them, the more they stick around. They come for a reason and need to be acknowledged, so they will hold their ground until I give them some attention.

I am learning that I have to see these feelings and spend a little time with them. I need to identify them and sit compassionately with them. I need to give them space and attention. Only then will they release their strong hold on me and flow away – leaving room for other, more peaceful feelings.

What are some of your difficult feelings? The ones that you wish would give you some breathing room?

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